历年诺贝尔文学奖书名 诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第10章Part 5

诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第10章Part 5  

Paul D could not mand his feet
but he thought he could still talk and he made up his mind tobreak out that way. He would tell Sethe about the last three weeks: catch her alone ing fromwork at the beer garden she called a restaurant and tell it all. He waited for her. The winterafternoon looked like dusk as he stood in the alley behind Sawyer's Restaurant. Rehearsing
imagining her face and letting the words flock in his head like kids before lining up to follow theleader.
"Well
ah
this is not the
a man can't
see
but aw listen here
it ain't that
it really ain't
Ole Garner
what I mean is
it ain't a weak-ness
the kind of weakness I can fight 'cause 'cause something ishappening to me
that girl is doing it
I know you think I never liked her nohow
but she is doing itto me. Fixing me. Sethe
she's fixed me and I can't break it.
"What? A grown man fixed by a girl? But what if the girl was not a girl
but something in disguise? A lowdown something that looked like a sweet young girl and fucking her or not was not the point
it was not being able to stay or go where he wished in 124
and the danger was in losing Sethebecause he was not man enough to break out
so he needed her
Sethe
to help him
to know aboutit
and it shamed him to have to ask the woman he wanted to protect to help him do it
God damn itto hell.
Paul D blew warm breath into the hollow of his cupped hands. The wind raced down the alley so fast it sleeked the fur of four kitchen dogs waiting for scraps. He looked at the dogs. The dogslooked at him.
Finally the back door opened and Sethe stepped through holding a scrap pan in the crook of herarm. When she saw him
she said Oh
and her smile was both pleasure and surprise.
Paul Dbelieved he smiled back but his face was so cold he wasn't sure.