生命中的过客 生命那些匆匆的过客 [美文]

生命那些匆匆的过客 [美文]  

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When he told me he was leaving I felt like a vase which has just smashed. There were pieces of me all over the tidy
tan tiles. He kept talking
telling me why he was leaving
explaining it was for the best
I could do better
it was his fault and not mine. I had heard it before many times and yet somehow was still not immune; perhaps one did not bee immune to such left and I tried to get on with my life. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil
I took out my old red mug and filled it with coffee watching as each coffee granule slipped in to the bone china. That was what my life had been like
endless omissions of coffee granules
somehow never managing to make that cup of coffee. Somehow when the kettle piped its finishing warning I pretended not to hear it. That's what Mike's leaving had been like
sudden and with an awful finality. I would rather just wallow in uncertainty than have things finished. I laughed at myself. Imagine getting all philosophical and sentimental about a mug of coffee. I must be getting old.
And yet it was a young woman who stared back at me from the mirror. A young woman full of promise and hope
a young woman with bright eyes and full lips just waiting to take on the world. I never loved Mike anyway. Besides there are More important things. More important than love
I insist to myself firmly. The lid goes back on the coffee just like closure on the whole Mike experience.
He doesn't haunt my dreams as I feared that night. Instead I am flying far across fields and woods
looking down on those below me. Suddenly I fall to the ground and it is only when I wake up that I realize I was shot by a hunter
brought down by the burden of not the bullet but the soul of the man who shot it. I realize later
with some degree of understanding
that Mike was the hunter holding me down and I am the bird that longs to fly.
The next night my dream is similar to the previous nights
but without the hunter. I fly free until I meet another bird who flies with me in perfect harmony. I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me
there is another person
not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend
but there is someone out there who is my soul mate. I think about being a broken vase again and realize that I have glued myself back together
what Mike has is merely a little part of my time in earth
a little understanding of my physical being. He has only
a little piece of me.