日本科幻文学 经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章8

经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章8  

“You get this bath
see? Imagine you’ve got this bath. And it’s ebony. And it’s conical.”
“Conical?” said Arthur
“What sort of…”
“Shhh!” said Ford. “It’s conical. So what you do is
you see
you fill it with fine white sand
alright? Or sugar. Fine white sand
and/or sugar. Anything. Doesn’t matter. Sugar’s fine. And when it’s full
you pull the plug out… are you listening?”
“I’m listening.”
“You pull the plug out
and it all just irls away
irls away you see
out of the plughole.”
“I see.”
“You don’t see. You don’t see at all. I haven’t got to the clever bit yet. You want to hear the clever bit?”
“Tell me the clever bit.”
“I’ll tell you the clever bit.”
Ford thought for a moment
trying to remember what the clever bit was.
“The clever bit
” he said
“is this. You film it happening.”
“Clever.”
“That’s not the clever bit. This is the clever bit
I remember now that this is the clever bit. The clever bit is that you then thread the film in the projector… backwards!”
“Backwards?”
“Yes. Threading it backwards is definitely the clever bit. So then
you just sit and watch it
and everything just appears to spiral upwards out of the plughole and fill the bath. See?”
“And that’s how the Universe began is it?” said Arthur.
“No
” said Ford
“but it’s a marvellous way to relax.”
He reached for his wine glass.
“Where’s my wine glass?” he said.
“It’s on the floor.”
“Ah.”
Tipping back his chair to look for it
Ford collided with the small green waiter who was approaching the table carrying a portable telephone.
Ford excused himself to the waiter explaining that it was because he was extremely drunk.
The waiter said that that was quite alright and that he perfectly understood.
Ford thanked the waiter for his kind indulgence
attempted to tug his forelock
missed by six inches and slid under the table.
“Mr. Zaphod Beeblebrox?” inquired the waiter.
“Er
yeah?” said Zaphod
glancing up from his third steak.
“There is a phone call for you.”
“Hey
what?”