日本科幻文学 经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章4

经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章4  

“I think I’ll just have a green salad
” he muttered.
“May I urge you to consider my liver?” asked the animal
“it must be very rich and tender by now
I’ve been force-feeding myself for months.”
“A green salad
” said Arthur emphatically.
“A green salad?” said the animal
rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.
“Are you going to tell me
” said Arthur
“that I shouldn’t have green salad?”
“Well
” said the animal
“I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.”
It managed a very slight bow.
“Glass of water please
” said Arthur.
“Look
” said Zaphod
“we want to eat
we don’t want to make a meal of the issues. Four rare steaks please
and hurry. We haven’t eaten in five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years.”
The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle.
“A very wise choice
sir
if I may say so. Very good
” it said
“I’ll just nip off and shoot myself.”
He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur.
“Don’t worry
sir
” he said
“I’ll be very humane.”
It waddled unhurriedly off into the kitchen.
A matter of minutes later the waiter arrived with four huge steaming steaks. Zaphod and Ford wolfed straight into them without a second’s hesitation. Trillian paused
then shrugged and started into hers.
Arthur stared at his feeling slightly ill.
“Hey
Earthman
” said Zaphod with a malicious grin on the face that wasn’t stuffing itself
“what’s eating you?”
And the band played on.
All around the Restaurant people and things relaxed and chatted. The air was filled with talk of this and that
and with the mingled scents of exotic plants
extravagant foods and insidious wines. For an infinite number of miles in every direction the universal cataclysm was gathering to a stupefying climax. Glancing at his watch
Max returned to the stage with a flourish.