我的生活海伦凯勒摘抄 海伦·凯勒自传《我的生活》第34期

海伦·凯勒自传《我的生活》第34期  

I am afraid I have not yet pleted this process. It is certain that I cannot always distinguish my own thoughts from those I read
because what I read bees the very substance and texture of my mind. Consequently
in nearly all that I write
I produce something which very much resembles the crazy patchwork I used to make when I first learned to sew. This patchwork was made of all sorts of odds and ends—pretty bits of silk and velvet; but the coarse pieces that were not pleasant to touch always predominated. Likewise my positions are made up of crude notions of my own
inlaid with the brighter thoughts and riper opinions of the authors I have read. It seems to me that the great difficulty of writing is to make the language of the educated mind express our confused ideas
half feelings
half thoughts
when we are little more than bundles of instinctive tendencies. Trying to write is very much like trying to put a Chinese puzzle together. We have a pattern in mind which we wish to work out in words;but the words will not fit the spaces
or
if they do
they will not match the design. But we keep on trying because we know that others have succeeded
and we are not willing to acknowledge defeat.
"There is no way to bee original
except to be born so
" says Stevenson
and although I may not be original
I hope sometime to outgrow my artificial
periwigged positions. Then
perhaps
my own thoughts and experiences will e to the surface. Meanwhile I trust and hope and persevere
and try not to let the bitter memory of "The Frost King" trammel my efforts.
So this sad experience may have done me good and set me thinking on some of the problems of position. My only regret is that it resulted in the loss of one of my dearest friends
Mr. Anagnos.
对我而言，这个惨痛的经历未尝不是一件好事，它让我对作文中所暴露的问题做出更加深入的思考。我唯一感到遗憾的是，我因此失去了最亲爱的朋友阿纳戈诺斯先生的友谊。
Since the publication of "The Story of My Life" in the Ladies' Home Journal
Mr. Anagnos has made a statement
in a letter to Mr. Macy
that at the time of the "Frost King" matter
he believed I was innocent. He says
the court of investigation before which I was brought consisted of eight people: four blind
four seeing persons. Four of them
he says
thought I knew that Miss Canby's story had been read to me
and the others did not hold this view. Mr. Anagnos states that he cast his vote with those who were favourable to me.
But
however the case may have been
with whichever side he may have cast his vote
when I went into the room where Mr. Anagnos had so often held me on his knee and
fetting his many cares
had shared in my frolics
and found there persons who seemed to doubt me
I felt that there was something hostile and menacing in the very atmosphere
and subsequent events have borne out this impression. For o years he seems to have held the belief that Miss Sullivan and I were innocent. Then he evidently retracted his favourable judgment
why I do not know. Nor did I know the details of the investigation. I never knew even the names of the members of the "court" who did not speak to me. I was too excited to notice anything
too frightened to ask questions. Indeed
I could scarcely think what I was saying
or what was being said to me.
I have given this account of the "Frost King" affair because it was important in my life and education; and
in order that there might be no misunderstanding
I have set forth all the facts as they appear to me
without a thought of defending myself or of laying blame on any one.