美国有两个拉斯维加斯 美国观光:不要去拉斯维加斯的5个理由

美国观光:不要去拉斯维加斯的5个理由  

Email from Jetblue advertising reduced rates on flights
and the roundtrip fare from Portland to Las Vegas was outstandingly low. "That could be fun
" I thought. Oh
how wrong I was.
After spending a week in Las Vegas
I can say without a doubt that I'd rather rub fiberglass in my eyes than set foot on the strip again. There are several reasons for this.
ything in Las Vegas is Fake
1.拉斯维加斯的一切都是假的
Vegas is structured like a theme park
if the theme was "disgusting." It's like walking around Disneyland
only all the wholesome
beloved Disney mascots have been transformed into drunk sluts and bros drenched in Axe body spray.
All the big casinos and attractions areconsolidated to one stretch of land
and after a mile or o it just ends. One afternoon I walked all the way down Las Vegas Boulevard
and after a few miles I found myself smack dab in the middle of nothing. A tumbleweed rolled by my feet and I was reminded that I was in the middle of the desert. Behind me
the strip shimmered like an oasis
except it's the opposite of an oasis
where instead of water and camels they have Jose Cuervo and staph infections.
s is Geographically Confusing
The strip is crowded
and I have a shitty sense of direction as it is. There are dozens of pedestrian walkways and overpasses
so it was impossible for me to walk down the strip without getting lost. To make matters worse
many of the large casinos are connected by meandering strip malls full of expensive boutiques
like some glitzy Underground Railroad.
I lose my way so easily and it's always frustrating. I remember watching Labyrinth as a kid
and even that experience was mildly exhausting for me. I just wanted Jennifer Connelly to find her goddamned way and save me the o hours of dancing puppets. Las Vegas was a pretty similar experience.
yone is Trying to Sell You Something
If you somehow manage to keep your bearings while maneuvering the strip
you'll still be harassed by a constant barrage of salesmen
amateur musicians
and "entrepreneurs." Dudes are trying to sell you club passes or mixtapes they burned on their laptops
or handing out cards advertising hookers social panions at discounted rates.
The folks handing out the ho trading cards are by far the worst distraction in Vegas
because there seem to be hundreds of them. They abjectly flap these cards in your face featuring ladies who will apparently show up to your hotel room for a nominal fee and entertain you. With trashy names and stars arbitrarily covering up their naughty bits
they glare forth like super sexy Pokemon. Take your pick.
Ironically
the dudes selling their homemade rap albums on CDR's mostly ignored me
figuring I wouldn't be interested. Joke's on them
because if there's one thing I would have shelled out cash for it's poorly recorded homebrew hip hop.
ything Being Sold is Outrageously Expensive
I wouldn't be suckered into $45 club passes or crazy-hot
totally disease-free hookers
but I wasn't able to starve myself for a week in protest of exorbitant food costs. After a few days of eighteen dollar spicy tuna rolls and $24 scrambled eggs
I decided to try my luck at my hotel's buffet. I figured I'd have a more satisfying meal when more options were present
but after a enty dollar entrance fee I was met with stale bagels and cold pancakes.
I normally take umbrage with buffets and I should've trusted my gut this time and steered clear. I'm a man of few convictions
but buffets just seem crass to me when people are starving in other countries. I think about it this way: if Americans learned there was a country somewhere where people paid a modest fee to browse through a buffet of Apple products
we'd all lose our shit over the profound injustice.
I finished my old crusty bagel on principle
because I care about Africa.
Vegas is an Awful Representation of America
perhaps it's the purest representation of America. It depends on who you talk to. I prefer to have faith in the American Dream
and pray that Vegas isn't it. Wandering around the strip
it struck me how many different languages I was hearing. I'm not one to criticize someone else's choice in vacation destination
but if you e to the US and Las Vegas is the one place you visit
I'm concerned about what impression you'll take away about America.