2012诺贝尔文学获得者 诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第11章Part 4

诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第11章Part 4  

Once before (and only once) Paul D had been grateful to a ling out of the woods
cross-eyed with hunger and loneliness
he knocked at the first backdoor he came to in the colored section of Wilmington. He told the woman who opened it that he'dappreciate doing her woodpile
if she could spare him something to eat. She looked him up anddown.
"A little Later on
" she said and opened the door wider. She fed him pork sausage
the worst thingin the world for a starving man
but neither he nor his stomach objected. Later
when he saw palecotton sheets and o pillows in her bedroom
he had to wipe his eyes quickly
quickly so shewould not see the thankful tears of a man's first time. Soil
grass
mud
shucking
leaves
hay
cobs
sea shells — -all that he'd slept on. White cotton sheets had never crossed his mind. He fell in witha groan and the woman helped him pretend he was making love to her and not her bed linen. Hevowed that night
full of pork
deep in luxury
that he would never leave her. She would have tokill him to get him out of that bed. Eighteen months later
when he had been purchased byNorthpoint Bank and Railroad Company
he was still thankful for that introduction to sheets.
Now he was grateful a second time. He felt as though he had been plucked from the face of a cliffand put down on sure ground. In Sethe's bed he knew he could put up with o crazy girls — -aslong as Sethe made her wishes known. Stretched out to his full length
watching snowflakes streampast the window over his feet
it was easy to dismiss the doubts that took him to the alley behindthe restaurant: his expectations for himself were high
too high. What he might call cowardiceother people called mon sense.
Tucked into the well of his arm
Sethe recalled Paul D's face in the street when he asked her tohave a baby for him. Although she laughed and took his hand
it had frightened her. She thoughtquickly of how good the sex would be if that is what he wanted
but mostly she was frightened bythe thought of having a baby once ing to be good enough
alert enough
strong enough
that caring — again. Having to stay alivejust that much longer. O Lord
she thought
deliver me. Unless carefree
motherlove was a did he want her pregnant for? To hold on to her? have a sign that he passed this way? Heprobably had children everywhere teen years of roaming
he would have to have dropped a . He resented the children she had
that's what. Child
she corrected herself. Child plus Belovedwhom she thought of as her own
and that is what he resented. Sharing her with the girls. Hearingthe three of them laughing at something he wasn't in on. The code they used among themselvesthat he could not break. Maybe even the time spent on their needs and not his. They were a familysomehow and he was not the head of it.
Can you stitch this up for me
baby?
Um hm. Soon's I finish this petticoat. She just got the one she came here in and everybody needs achange.
Any pie left?