内疚是维系爱情最好的 英语美文阅读 维系永恒的婚姻与爱情

英语美文阅读 维系永恒的婚姻与爱情  

维系永恒的婚姻与爱情
Challenges to a Lasting Relationship
　　
"Of all the misconceptions about love
the most powerful and pervasive (普遍深入的)is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations (显现，表示)of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK

　　People who are married or in mitted relationships are healthier
wealthier
and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

　　The answers to these questions are plentiful
but the main reason is simple. It"s easy to "fall" in love
but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our "smartest" choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it"s one of the major ingredients (成分，因素)in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life
substantially boosts (推进)physical and emotional health
and raises ine over that of single or divorced people or those who live together
" reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness
reduce the degree of depression
and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

　　So let"s wake up
make up
and turn this trend around! One of the most startling (令人吃惊的)pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with (了解。。。的情况)what"s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file (v.提出申请)for divorce say they didn"t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee
it"s often too late.

　　Truly there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship ? whether you"re dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament (困境)again
you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work
because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.

　　Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem
because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your marriage
but you can"t run away from yourself
no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other
couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this
you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don"t know how to validate (验证)each other (that frustration escalates to bee anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame
because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.

　　One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger beeen people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses
different ways of expressing ourselves
and different "childhood wounds" that we"re trying to heal. While it may seem like we"re from different plas we are actually very much alike when it es to our need and desire for love and intimacy. We only behave differently in our quests for (追求，探索)closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It"s not about "working harder" it"s about "working smarter".