悉达多悟到了什么 名著精读:《悉达多》-和儿童般的俗人在一起(4)

名著精读:《悉达多》-和儿童般的俗人在一起(4)  

At times he felt
deep in his chest
a dying
quiet voice
which admonished him quietly
lamented quietly; he hardly perceived it. And then
for an hour
he became aware of the strange life he was leading
of him doing lots of things which were only a game
of
though being happy and feeling joy at times
real life still passing him by and not touching him. As a ball-player plays with his balls
he played with his business-deals
with the people around him
watched them
found amusement in them; with his heart
with the source of his being
he was not with them. The source ran somewhere
far away from him
ran and ran invisibly
had nothing to do with his life any more. And at several times he suddenly became scared on account of such thoughts and wished that he would also be gifted with the ability to participate in all of this childlike-naive occupations of the daytime with passion and with his heart
really to live
really to act
really to enjoy and to live instead of just standing by as a spectator. Butagain and again
he came back to beautiful Kamala
learned the art of love
practised the cult of lust
in which more than in anything else giving and taking bees one
chatted with her
learned from her
gave her advice
received advice. She understood him better than Govinda used to understand him
she was more similar to him.
Once
he said to her: "You are like me
you are different from most people. You are Kamala
nothing else
and inside of you
there is a peace and refuge
to which you can go at every hour of the day and be at home at yourself
as I can also do. Few people have this
and yet all could have it."
"Not all people are smart
" said Kamala.
"No
" said Siddhartha
"that's not the reason why. Kamaswami is just as smart as I
and still has no refuge in himself. Others have it
who are small children with respect to their mind. Most people
Kamala
are like a falling leaf
which is blown and is turning around through the air
and wavers
and tumbles to the ground. But others
a few
are like stars
they go on a fixed course
no wind reaches them
in themselves they have their law and their course. Among all the learned men and Samanas
of which I knew many
there was one of this kind
a perfected one
I'll never be able to fet him. It is that Gotama
the exalted one
who is spreading that teachings. Thousands of followers are listening to his teachings every day
follow his instructions every hour
but they are all falling leaves
not in themselves they have teachings and a law."
Kamala looked at him with a smile. "Again
you're talking about him
" she said
"again
you're having a Samana's thoughts."