我的生活海伦凯勒摘抄 海伦·凯勒自传《我的生活》第31期

海伦·凯勒自传《我的生活》第31期  

Mr. Anagnos was delighted with "The Frost King
" and published it in one of the Perkins Institution reports. This was the pinnacle of my happiness
from which I was in a little while dashed to earth. I had been in Boston only a short time when it was discovered that a story similar to "The Frost King
" called "The Frost Fairies" by Miss Margaret T. Canby
had appeared before I was born in a book called "Birdie and His Friends." The o stories were so much alike in thought and language that it was evident Miss Canby's story had been read to me
and that mine was—a plagiarism. It was difficult to make me understand this; but when I did understand I was astonished and grieved. No child ever drank deeper of the cup of bitterness than I did. I had disgraced myself; I had brought suspicion upon those I loved best. And yet how could it possibly have happened? I racked my brain until I was weary to recall anything about the frost that I had read before I wrote "The Frost King"; but I could remember nothing
except the mon reference to Jack Frost
and a poem for children
"The Freaks of the Frost
" and I knew I had not used that in my position.
At first Mr. Anagnos
though deeply troubled
seemed to believe me. He was unusually tender and kind to me
and for a brief space the shadow lifted. To please him I tried not to be unhappy
and to make myself as pretty as possible for the celebration of Washington's birthday
which took place very soon after I received the sad news.
I was to be Ceres in a kind of masque given by the blind girls. How well I remember the graceful draperies that enfolded me
the bright autumn leaves that wreathed my head
and the fruit and grain at my feet and in my hands
and beneath all the gaiety of the masque the oppressive sense of ing ill that made my heart heavy.
在伙伴们组织的假面舞会中，我扮演了谷物女神色瑞斯。我的身上围裹着华丽的织物，头上缠绕着亮闪闪的秋叶，手脚周围布满了果实和谷物；而在欢乐的气氛之下，我的胸中则积蓄着深深的愁苦。
The night before the celebration
one of the teachers of the Institution had asked me a question connected with "The Frost King
" and I was telling her that Miss Sullivan had talked to me about Jack Frost and his wonderful works. Something I said made her think she detected in my words a confession that I did remember Miss Canby's story of "The Frost Fairies
" and she laid her conclusions before Mr. Anagnos
although I had told her most emphatically that she was mistaken.
Mr. Anagnos
who loved me tenderly
thinking that he had been deceived
turned a deaf ear to the pleadings of love and innocence. He believed
or at least suspected
that Miss Sullivan and I had deliberately stolen the bright thoughts of another and imposed them on him to win his admiration. I was brought before a court of investigation posed of the teachers and officers of the Institution
and Miss Sullivan was asked to leave me. Then I was questioned and cross-questioned with what seemed to me a determination on the part of my judges to force me to acknowledge that I remembered having had "The Frost Fairies" read to me. I felt in every question the doubt and suspicion that was in their minds
and I felt
too
that a loved friend was looking at me reproachfully
although I could not have put all this into words. The blood pressed about my thumping heart
and I could scarcely speak
except in monosyllables. Even the consciousness that it was only a dreadful mistake did not lessen my suffering
and whenat last I was allowed to leave the room
I was dazed and did not notice my teacher's caresses
or the tender words of my friends
who said I was a brave little girl and they were proud of me.