悉达多讲的什么 名著精读:《悉达多》-沙门(2)

名著精读:《悉达多》-沙门(2)  

By his side lived Govinda
his shadow
walked the same paths
undertook the same efforts. They rarely spoke to one another
than the service and the exercises required. Occasionally the o of them went through the villages
to beg for food for themselves and their teachers.

"How do you think
Govinda
" Siddhartha spoke one day while begging this way
"how do you think did we progress? Did we reach any goals?"

Govinda answered: "We have learned
and we'll continue learning. You'll be a great Samana
Siddhartha. Quickly
you've learned every exercise
often the old Samanas have admired you. One day
you'll be a holy man
oh Siddhartha."

Quoth Siddhartha: "I can't help but feel that it is not like this
my friend. What I've learned
being among the Samanas
up to this day
this
oh Govinda
I could have learned more quickly and by simpler means. In every tavern of that part of a town where the whorehouses are
my friend
among carters and gamblers I could have learned it."

Quoth Govinda: "Siddhartha is putting me on. How could you have learned meditation
holding your breath
insensitivity against hunger and pain there among these wretched people?"

And Siddhartha said quietly
as if he was talking to himself: "What is meditation? What is leaving one's body? What is fasting? What is holding one's breath? It is fleeing from the self
it is a short escape of the agony of being a self
it is a short numbing of the senses against the pain and the pointlessness of life. The same escape
the same short numbing is what the driver of an ox-cart finds in the inn
drinking a few bowls of rice-wine or fermented coconut-milk. Then he won't feel his self any more
then he won't feel the pains of life any more
then he finds a short numbing of the senses. When he falls asleep over his bowl of rice-wine
he'll find the same what Siddhartha and Govinda find when they escape their bodies through long exercises
staying in the non-self. This is how it is
oh Govinda."

Quoth Govinda: "You say so
oh friend
and yet you know that Siddhartha is no driver of an ox-cart and a Samana is no drunkard. It's true that a drinker numbs his senses
it's true that he briefly escapes and rests
but he'll return from the delusion
finds everything to be unchanged
has not bee wiser
has gathered no enlightenment
--has not risen several steps."

And Siddhartha spoke with a smile: "I do not know
I've never been a drunkard. But that I
Siddhartha
find only a short numbing of the senses in my exercises and meditations and that I am just as far removed from wisdom
from salvation
as a child in the mother's womb
this I know
oh Govinda
this I know."

And once again
another time
when Siddhartha left the forest together with Govinda
to beg for some food in the village for their brothers and teachers
Siddhartha began to speak and said: "What now
oh Govinda
might we be on the right path? Might we get closer to enlightenment? Might we get closer to salvation? Or do we perhaps live in a circle-- we
who have thought we were escaping the cycle?"

Quoth Govinda: "We have learned a lot
Siddhartha
there is still much to learn. We are not going around in circles
we are moving up
the circle is a spiral
we have already ascended many a level."

Siddhartha answered: "How old
would you think
is our oldest Samana
our venerable teacher?"

Quoth Govinda: "Our oldest one might be about sixty years of age."

And Siddhartha: "He has lived for sixty years and has not reached the nirvana. He'll turn seventy and eighty
and you and me
we will grow just as old and will do our exercises
and will fast
and will meditate. But we will not reach the nirvana
he won't and we won't. Oh Govinda
I believe out of all the Samanas out there
perhaps not a single one
not a single one
will reach the nirvana. We find fort
we find numbness
we learn feats
to deceive others. But the most important thing
the path of paths
we will not find."

"If you only
" spoke Govinda
"wouldn't speak such terrible words
Siddhartha! How could it be that among so many learned men
among so many Brahmans
among so many austere and venerable Samanas
among so many who are searching
so many who are eagerly trying
so many holy men
no one will find the path of paths?"

But Siddhartha said in a voice which contained just as much sadness as mockery
with a quiet
a slightly sad
a slightly mocking voice: "Soon
Govinda
your friend will leave the path of the Samanas
he has walked along your side for so long. I'm suffering of thirst
oh Govinda
and on this long path of a Samana
my thirst has remained as strong as ever. I always thirsted for knowledge
I have always been full of questions. I have asked the Brahmans
year after year
and I have asked the holy Vedas
year after year
and I have asked the devote Samanas
year after year. Perhaps
oh Govinda
it had been just as well
had been just as smart and just as profitable
if I had asked the hornbill-bird or the chimpanzee. It took me a long time and am not finished learning this yet
oh Govinda: that there is nothing to be learned! There is indeed no such thing
so I believe
as what we refer to as `learning'. There is
oh my friend
just one knowledge
this is everywhere
this is Atman
this is within me and within you and within every creature. And so I'm starting to believe that this knowledge has no worser enemy than the desire to know it
than learning."

At this
Govinda stopped on the path
rose his hands
and spoke: "If you
Siddhartha
only would not bother your friend with this kind of talk! Truly
you words stir up fear in my heart. And just consider: what would bee of the sanctity of prayer
what of the venerability of the Brahmans' caste
what of the holiness of the Samanas
if it was as you say
if there was no learning?! What
oh Siddhartha
what would then bee of all of this what is holy
what is precious
what is venerable on earth?!"