英语小短文50字带翻译简单 求英语阅读带翻译的（50字以内）小笑话也可以

求英语阅读带翻译的（50字以内）小笑话也可以  

求英语阅读带翻译的（50字以内）小笑话也可以

1. Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited
his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box,
the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold
out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur
tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
两张电影票
一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。周末，他请她看电影。来到售票处，
小伙子对售票员说：“请给两张票。”售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。
失望的年轻人说：“那么，您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗？”
2、What Grade
Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's
license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She
pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What
grade, miss?"
哪一级
我的十七岁的侄女，科里斯蒂，刚刚拿到驾照。她主动提出去加油
站给她妈妈的车加油。她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。服务员问她：
“（加油加到）哪一级，小姐？”
3、When a Tiger es
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
老虎来了
两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。
当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？”
他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
4、The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not ing empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
5、Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
6、my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
7、Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8、Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
9、I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
10、A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her posure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

急需，英语小笑话带翻译的。

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement munity. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社群。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

英语小笑话（最好是100字以内）带翻译

A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy
一个好孩子
小罗伯特向他妈妈要了两美分。“你用我昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我把它给了一个贫穷的老妇人。”他回答
“你是个好孩子”妈妈骄傲地说。“这里有两美分多，但为什么你对老妇人这么有兴趣？”
"她是一个卖糖果的”
A teacher asked her class ,"Is the sentence `The ox(公牛)and the cow(母牛)are in the fields'correct"
Most of the children said,"Yes,that is right!"
And only one little boy said,"No,it is not correct ,The lady must be mentioned first."
译：一个老师问他的学生。“田里的公牛在母牛的前面对吗？”
大多数小孩说： “没错，是这样的”
少数小男孩说： “不，这是不正确的，这女士必须在前面”

又短又好笑的英语小笑话、带翻译的

What Was It She Wanted 她要买什么
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.
Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's ing.
Now what was it she wanted? Rain, said the clerk.
一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。然后经理把店员拉到一边：千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么，说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。
现在你说她要买什么？ 雨，店员说。

带英语翻译的笑话

1. A guy walks into the human resources department of a large pany and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
“I must say,”says the executive,“your work history is terrible.You’ve been fired from every job.”“Yes,”says the man.“Well,”continues the executive,“there is not much positive in that.”
“Hey!”says the guy as he pokes the application.“At least I’m not a quitter.”
一个人走进一家大公司的人力资源部,把他的申请表递给主管。主管开始浏览他的申请,发现应征者在以前的每一份工作上都被开除了。
“我必须说,”主管说,“你的工作经历很不好,你在你做的每一份工作上都被开除了。”“是的,”那人说。主管继续说:“这可不是什么好事情。”
“嘿!”那人指著申请表说,“至少我不是个逃兵。” 2.Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!"一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。” 3.I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

急需英语小笑话。最好有翻译的.

No Hoes 没有锄头
A thirteen-year-old boy was sitting on the sofa watching TV when the phone rang.
“Hello, my son.” it was his father’s voice, “where is your mother?”
“Mother is working in the garden.”
“What?” barked the father, “Your mother is not as young and strong as she used to be. Why aren’t you helping her?”
“I can't.” was the reply. “Grandma is using the other hoe.”
一个13岁的男孩正坐在沙发上看电视，这时电话响了。
“喂，儿子。”是父亲打来的。“你妈呢？”
“妈妈在院子里干活呢!”
“什么？”父亲吼道。“你妈已经不如从前那么强壮了。你这时怎么不在帮她？”
“不行啊！”儿子答道。“另一把锄头奶奶正在用呢！”

英语圣诞小笑话 短一点(一,二行)带翻译的

采购过早
圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问受审人：“你干了什么坏事呀？”
“我今年圣诞购物早了些，”犯人哭着回答。
“那并不是件坏事，”法官说，“到底多早啊？”
“商店开门之前，”犯人答道。
Early shopper
It was the Christmas Day and the judge of Britain was in a good mood as he questioned the prisoner. “What are you charged with?” he asked.
“Doing my christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense,” frankly replied the judge, “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

英语小笑话带翻译10字

　忘记是谁流的
那么感伤！
路在何方有多长
那么，那么
真的，真的
不想说了

英语小笑话带翻译20字

一老外与中国人对话：
老外：How are you?
中：I'm fine.And you?
老外：I'm fine,too.
中：I'm fine three.
老外：What‘'s for?
中：I'm fine five
望采纳！

找一个简单的英语小笑话，带翻译的

A smart housewife
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy o, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主妇

一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”