银河系漫游指南国语 经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第5章 Part 1

经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第5章 Part 1  

Chapter 5
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was not a pleasant sight
even for other Vogons. His highly domed nose rose high above a small piggy forehead. He was the way he was because billions of years ago when the Vogons had first crawled out of the sluggish primeval seas of Vogsphere
and had lain panting and heaving on the pla's virgin shores... when the first rays of the bright young Vogsol sun had shone across them that morning
it was as if the forces of evolution ad simply given up on them there and then
had turned aside in disgust and written them off as an ugly and unfortunate mistake. They never evolved again; they should never have survived.
The fact that they did is some kind of tribute to the thick-willed slug-brained stubbornness of these creatures. Evolution? they said to themselves
Who needs it?
and what nature refused to do for them they simply did without until such time as they were able to rectify the grosser anatomical inconveniences with surgery.
Meanwhile
the natural forces on the pla Vogsphere had been working overtime to make up for their earlier blunder. They brought forth scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs
which the Vogons ate
smashing their shells with iron mallets; tall aspiring trees with breathtaking slenderness and colour which the Vogons cut down and burned the crab meat with; elegant gazelle-like creatures with silken coats and dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on. They were no use as transport because their backs would snap instantly
but the Vogons sat on them anyway.
Thus the pla Vogsphere whiled away the unhappy millennia until the Vogons suddenly discovered the principles of interstellar travel. Within a few short Vog years every last Vogon had migrated to the Megabrantis cluster
the political hub of the Galaxy and now formed the immensely powerful backbone of the Galactic Civil Service. They have attempted to acquire learning
they have attempted to acquire style and social grace
but in most respects the modern Vogon is little different from his primitive forebears. Every year they import enty-seven thousand scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs from their native pla and while away a happy drunken night smashing them to bits with iron mallets.
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was a fairly typical Vogon in that he was thoroughly vile. Also
he did not like hitch hikers.
Somewhere in a small dark cabin buried deep in the intestines of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz's flagship
a small match flared nervously. The owner of the match was not a Vogon
but he knew all about them and was right to be nervous. His name was Ford Prefect Ford.