长宇宙系列文顺序 经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第11章3

经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第11章3  

All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight
and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt.
That is
it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fail to miss the ground
and if they are really trying properly
the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly
it’s the second point
the missing
which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It’s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won’t. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you’re halfway there
so that you are no longer thinking about falling
or about the ground
or about how much it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
If
however
you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by
say
a geous pair of legs (tentacles
pseudopodia
according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity
or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby ig
then in your astonishment you will miss the ground pletely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float
float and bob.
Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of
“Good God
you can’t possibly be flying!”
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher.
Try a few swoops
gentle ones at first
then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
Do not wave at anybody.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly bees easier and easier to achieve. You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight
your speed
your manoeuvrability
and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do
but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
You will also learn how to land properly
which is something you will almost certainly cock up
and cock up badly
on your first attempt.
There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the crucial moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs
but some may be able to get temporary employment at them.
Trillian read this longingly
but reluctantly decided that Zaphod wasn’t really in the right frame of mind for attempting to fly
or for walking through mountains or for trying to get the Brantisvogan Civil Service to acknowledge a change-of-address card
which were the other things listed under the heading “Recreational Impossibilities”.
Instead
she flew the ship to Allosimanius Syneca
a world of ice
snow
mind-hurtling beauty and stunning cold. The trek from the snow plains of Liska to the summit of the Ice Crystal Pyramids of Sastantua is long and gruelling
even with jet skis and a team of Syneca Snowhounds
but the view from the top
a view which takes in the Stin Glacier Fields
the shimmering Prism Mountains and the far ethereal dancing icelights
is one which first freezes the mind and then slowly releases it to hitherto unexperienced horizons of beauty
and Trillian
for one
felt that she could do with a bit of having her mind slowly released to hitherto unexperienced horizons of beauty.
They went into a low orbit. There lay the silver-white beauty of Allosimanius Syneca beneath them. Zaphod stayed in bed with one head stuck under a pillow and the other doing crosswords till late into the night.
Trillian nodded patiently again
counted to a sufficiently high number
and told herself that the important thing now was just to get Zaphod talking.
She prepared
by dint of deactivating all the robot kitchen synthomatics
the most fabulously delicious meal she could contrive delicately oiled meals
scented fruits
fragrant cheeses
fine Aldebaran wines.
She carried it through to him and asked if he felt like talking things through.
Zark off
said Zaphod.