银河系漫游指南好看吗 经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第9章 Part 2

经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第9章 Part 2  

The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood — and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left
in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.
Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this — partly because it was a debasement of science
but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties.
Another thing they couldn't stand was the perpetual failure they encountered in trying to construct a machine which could generate the infinite improbability field needed to flip a spaceship across the mind-paralysing distances beeen the furthest stars
and in the end they grumpily announced that such a machine was virtually impossible.
Then
one day
a student who had been left to sweep up the lab after a particularly unsuccessful party found himself reasoning this way:
If
he thought to himself
such a machine is a virtual impossibility
then it must logically be a finite improbability. So all I have to do in order to make one is to work out exactly how improbable it is
feed that figure into the finite improbability generator
give it a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn it on!
He did this
and was rather startled to discover that he had managed to create the long sought after golden Infinite Improbability generator out of thin air.
It startled him even more when just after he was awarded the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme Cleverness he got lynched by a rampaging mob of respectable physicists who had finally realized that the one thing they really couldn't stand was a smartass.
如果，他对自己说，这样的一台仪器事实上是不可能的，那么它就必定是一种有限非概率。因此，如果我要造出一台来的话，所要做的全部事情就是算出它如何不可能的精确数值，把这个数值输入有限非概率发生装置，再来上一杯热茶……然后，打开它！
他这样做了，于是震惊地发现自己成功地凭空造出了人们苦苦寻求已久的珍贵的无限非概率发生装置。
更让他震惊的是：当他获得银河学院杰出才智大奖后，竟然被一伙狂怒的暴徒（由著名物理学家们组成）以私刑处死。这些人最终发现，他们最无法容忍的其实是“机灵鬼”。