科幻小说星云奖获奖作品 经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章6

经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章6  

“Do we have…” he put up a hand to hold back the cheers
“Do we have a party here from the Zansellquasure Flamarion Bridge Club from beyond the Vortvoid of Qvarne? Are they here?”
A rousing cheer came from the back
but he pretended not to hear. He peered around trying to find them.
“Are they here?” he asked again
to elicit a louder cheer.
He got it
as he always did.
“Ah
there they are. Well
last bids lads and no cheating
remember this is a very solemn moment.”
He lapped up the laughter.
“And do we also have
do we have… a party of minor deities from the Halls of Asgard?”
Away to his right came a rumble of thunder. Lightning arced across the stage. A small group of hairy men with helmets sat looking very pleased with themselves
and raised their glasses to him.
Hasbeens
he thought to himself.
“Careful with that hammer
sir
” he said.
They did their trick with the lightning again. Max gave them a very thin lipped smile.
“And thirdly
” he said
“thirdly a party of Young Conservatives from Sirius B
are they here?”
A party of smartly dressed young dogs stopped throwing rolls at each other and started throwing rolls at the stage. They yapped and barked unintelligibly.
“Yes
” said Max
“well this is all your fault
you realize that?”
“And finally
” said Max
quieting the audience down and putting on his solemn face
“finally I believe we have with us here tonight
a party of believers
very devout believers
from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon.”
There were about enty of them
sitting right out on the edge of the floor
ascetically dressed
sipping mineral water nervously
and staying apart from the festivities. They blinked resentfully as the spotlight was turned on them.
“There they are
” said Max
“sitting there
patiently. He said he’d e again
and he’s kept you waiting a long time
so let’s hope he’s hurrying fellas
because he’s only got eight minutes left!”
The party of Zarquon’s followers sat rigid
refusing to be buffeted by the waves of uncharitable laughter which swept over them.
Max restrained his audience.
“No
but seriously though folks
seriously though
no offence meant. No
I know we shouldn’t make fun of deeply held beliefs
so I think a big hand please for the Great Prophet Zarquon…”
The audience clapped respectfully.
“… wherever he’s got to!”
He blew a kiss to the stony-faced party and returned to the centre of the stage.
He grabbed a tall stool and sat on it.