悉达多悟到了什么 名著精读:《悉达多》-婆罗门之子(5)

名著精读:《悉达多》-婆罗门之子(5)  

After an hour
since no sleep had e over his eyes
the Brahman stood up
paced to and fro
and left the house. Through the small window of the chamber he looked back inside
and there he saw Siddhartha standing
his arms folded
not moving from his spot. Pale shimmered his bright robe. With anxiety in his heart
the father returned to his bed.

After another hour
since no sleep had e over his eyes
the Brahman stood up again
paced to and fro
walked out of the house and saw that the moon had risen. Through the window of the chamber he looked back inside; there stood Siddhartha
not moving from his spot
his arms folded
moonlight reflecting from his bare shins. With worry in his heart
the father went back to bed.

And he came back after an hour
he came back after o hours
looked through the small window
saw Siddhartha standing
in the moon light
by the light of the stars
in the darkness. And he came back hour after hour
silently
he looked into the chamber
saw him standing in the same place
filled his heart with anger
filled his heart with unrest
filled his heart with anguish
filled it with sadness.

And in the night's last hour
before the day began
he returned
stepped into the room
saw the young man standing there
who seemed tall and like a stranger to him.

"Siddhartha
" he spoke
"what are you waiting for?"

"You know what."

"Will you always stand that way and wait
until it'll bees morning
noon
and evening?"

"I will stand and wait.

"You will bee tired
Siddhartha."

"I will bee tired."

"You will fall asleep
Siddhartha."

"I will not fall asleep."

"You will die
Siddhartha."

"I will die."

"And would you rather die
than obey your father?"

"Siddhartha has always obeyed his father."

"So will you abandon your plan?"

"Siddhartha will do what his father will tell him to do."

The first light of day shone into the room. The Brahman saw that Siddhartha was trembling softly in his knees. In Siddhartha's face he saw no trembling
his eyes were fixed on a distant spot. Then his father realized that even now Siddhartha no longer dwelt with him in his home
that he had already left him.

The Father touched Siddhartha's shoulder.

"You will
" he spoke
"go into the forest and be a Samana. When you'll have found blissfulness in the forest
then e back and teach me to be blissful. If you'll find disappointment
then return and let us once again make offerings to the gods together. Go now and kiss your mother
tell her where you are going to. But for me it is time to go to the river and to perform the first ablution."

He took his hand from the shoulder of his son and went outside. Siddhartha wavered to the side
as he tried to walk. He put his limbs back under control
bowed to his father
and went to his mother to do as his father had said.

As he slowly left on stiff legs in the first light of day the still quiet town
a shadow rose near the last hut
who had crouched there
and joined the pilgrim--Govinda.