悉达多悟到了什么 名著精读:《悉达多》-在河边(1)

名著精读:《悉达多》-在河边(1)  

Siddhartha walked through the forest
was already far from the city
and knew nothing but that one thing
that there was no going back for him
that this life
as he had lived it for many years until now
was over and done away with
and that he had tasted all of it
sucked everything out of it until he was disgusted with it. Dead was the singing bird
he had dreamt of. Dead was the bird in his heart. Deeply
he had been entangled in Sansara
he had sucked up disgust and death from all sides into his body
like a sponge sucks up water until it is full. And full he was
full of the feeling of been sick of it
full of misery
full of death
there was nothing left in this world which could have attracted him
given him joy
given him fort.
Passionately he wished to know nothing about himself anymore
to have rest
to be dead. If there only was a lightning-bolt to strike him dead! If there only was a tiger a devour him! If there only was a wine
a poison which would numb his senses
bring him fetfulness and sleep
and no awakening from that! Was there still any kind of filth
he had not soiled himself with
a sin or foolish act he had not mitted
a dreariness of the soul he had not brought upon himself? Was it still at all possible to be alive? Was it possible
to breathe in again and again
to breathe out
to feel hunger
to eat again
to sleep again
to sleep with a woman again? Was this cycle not exhausted and brought to a conclusion for him?